I sit typing this.. with no lights on in the room... and just one light on
in the living room.  I wonder.. if this is how things should truly be?  I
know things are destined... but I also know that we make our own destinies.
I know that every thought contributes to every action.. that I.. or anyone
else takes.  And that every action contributes to the overall workings of our
world.  Why is it so confusing?  It's purty simple really.... nobody..
including the privileged elite.. or the well schooled in religion.. from the
beggar to the billionaire.. from the singer to the mute... from the dancer to
the lame... we all hate God.  We all want Him gone.  We don't want His love..
we want His power.  We want to control.. not to submit... We want to rule..
not to be ruled.... We want to hate... and not love.
   Why are we like this?  Cuz we prefer grays to absolutes... We want to have
our bellies filled with all sorts of tantalizing dreams.. but refuse the hard
work that God has deemed necessary for true survival and flourishing.  We
prefer what we can get handed to us.. rather than what we have to labor to
achieve.  Why are we so lost?
   Cuz we don't want God.
   We claim we love Him... but we don't.
   We claim He is our Father.. but we are mere bastards.. who have disowned
the one true Father.. and left Him to fix the messes we keep making.
   We honor not His Word.. but we crave all that others have.. thinking that
our satisfaction is only lacking in substance.. when in truth, it is the
quality meat that God provides.. that alone can end the ache within.
   Why do we keep running?  Why do we keep fighting?  Why do we keep on
hating?  Does not His own Word tell us to love all people.. no matter how
much pain they give us?  Did not His own Word die.. to pave the way towards
real life?  But we won't accept that.  We claim it.. but we don't accept it.
We buy it.. but we don't pay for it.  We glow.. yet we are not burning.  We
pour ourselves out.. but we are empty.  We guzzle and gorge and feed and
feast.. only to enjoy demons' food.  What good are we?